Life with kids — although completely amazing overall (really, it is) — is exhausting, and usually dirty and sticky and full of stuff breaking all the time, with some (ok, a lot of) whining and fussing and mooching for food thrown in.

So when I find something that helps to make my life with kids easier, I’m a happy camper.  As parents, we all have our must-haves. These are mine (in no particular order). What makes your list?

1. Sippy cups: Because you know what? Even when those suckers get knocked over, the drink does not spill everywhere. (Assuming the lid is on properly and whatever spill-proof thingymajig you have to put in the spout isn’t missing and is put in just right, that is.) Even though my older kids are adept at drinking from regular cups, they’re not so adept at not knocking them over. I think sippy cups will be required drinking accoutrements in my house until the kids move out.
2. Snacks: More specifically, Cheerios, goldfish, any type of crackers, and those handy little fruit/yogurt pouches that don’t need to be refrigerated. Even though the Cheerios and goldfish seem to multiply and make themselves at home in every crevice in your house and car, and the fruit/yogurt pouches can be messy if little hands squeeze too hard, these snacks are never turned down and can almost always turn tears into smiles, or help prevent a tantrum in pinch. (Or in times of food aversions can become entire meals.)
3. Spray/stick sunscreen: Who ever invented these is just plain genius. Getting my kids to stand still is hard enough. Adding the promise of fun in the sun, sand, and water to the mix makes it next to impossible. So when given the choice of SPF’ing up the kids quickly and with minimal mess versus spending 10 minutes on each kid making sure the sunscreen is rubbed in all the way, I’ll take the first option every time.
4. Stroller frames: I’m talking about the frames — and just the frames — that you can put your infant car seat into to make a stroller, NOT a travel system that has an actual stroller (that can be used without a car seat) in which an infant seat can fit. Stroller frames are super light, way more compact than a travel system stroller, and easy to use when you’re down to just one hand.
5. Crayons: Whether at a restaurant, the doctor’s office, in the car, or at home, crayons can keep my kiddos busy for significant amounts of time. And this totally trumps the horrendous amount of “art work” that results. Or the accidental marks on the walls and furniture. (And yes, it’s good for creativity, too.)
6. Portable DVD players: With family all over, we travel in the car a lot. When I started making 5+ hour trips alone with the kids, we invested in a portable DVD system. We only break it out for long trips, so it’s become a special treat when we use it. And let me tell you, it has been a lifesaver.
7. Fans: We have them in all of the bedrooms for white noise to help buffer any noise in the rest of the house while the kids are sleeping. We’re probably creating our kids’ first addiction, but hey, they’re sleeping.
8. Netflix: Real-time tv? Fugghetaboutit (or however you spell that). Netflix is awesome because when my kids do watch tv, we can control the shows they can pick from. And, Netflix can travel with you wherever you go, you know like when you go to a relative’s house and there isn’t anything on but news or crime shows. Netflix provides instant options, and on many different devices.
9. Dishwashers: Three kids and three meals a day, plus snacks and random pretend play with all the things in the kitchen make for a lot of dirty dishes. And if you have a baby with bottles thrown in the mix? Horrendous. When we lived in Philly we didn’t have a dishwasher — but we only had one kid at that point. I cannot even imagine doing all of the dishes now by hand. Cannot. First-world problems, I know, but I really am grateful for our dishwasher!
10. Minivans: Pre-kids I swore I would never ever ever own a minivan. Now? I cannot imagine life without one. The automatic sliding doors and back door opener alone have made my life easier. Not to mention all of the room in there. Plus the V6 and all-wheel drive. Awwwww yeah. 🙂

We have two cats. And I used to hate cleaning their litter boxes. And then we had kids. Now I see just how good I have it with the litter boxes.

In no particular order:

1. They don’t need their butts wiped.
2. They don’t pee all over the toilet seat and leave it for you to sit in.
3. They don’t run into the bathroom while you’re in there doing your business because they have to go so bad and can’t make it to one of the other unoccupied bathrooms that they actually passed on the way to the one you are currently using.
4. They don’t consistently clog your toilet with toilet paper. Or Legos.
5. They don’t wipe their paws on their butt and show it to you.
6. They don’t ever ask you to come see what has just come out of their butts.
7. They don’t pee or poop in the bathtub.
8. They don’t use going to the bathroom as an excuse to keep getting out of bed.
9. They don’t want to have a 30-minute conversation about their poop’s texture or color or smell while they’re pooping.
10. They don’t need to be reminded to go to the bathroom all the time.
11. They don’t need sticker charts or M&Ms to be enticed to do their business on the potty.
12. They are not obsessed with using public restrooms.
13. They don’t ever forget to poop the first time and then ask you to take them back to the bathroom 30 seconds later.
14. They don’t wake you up in the middle of the night because they’ve fallen into the toilet.
15. They don’t require you to buy 800 rolls of toilet paper every week.
16. They don’t leave skid marks.
17. They don’t have to be told all the time not to take food into the bathroom.
18. They don’t accidentally drop things in the toilet while going to the bathroom.
19. They don’t need the world around them to pause while they go to the bathroom.
20. They don’t feel compelled to tell complete strangers about their poop.

Disclaimer: After getting some pretty funny and accurate rebuttals to this one, I figured I should mention that the kids in question here are preschoolers and toddlers, and the cats in question are not psychos. (Although I understand there is an argument to be made that all cats are psycho, lol.) Maybe the title of this post really should have been “20 Reasons MY Cats Have Superior Potty Skills Compared to MY Kids”?

Hey, don’t take it personally if my kids won’t eat something you’ve made for them. Really, it’s not you, it’s them. And after 5 years, I’ve begun to crack the code on why my kids sometimes don’t eat their food. Here’s what I’ve learned so far . . .

1. It looks funny
2. It smells funny
3. It feels funny
4. It tastes funny
5. It’s too mushy
6. It’s too hard
7. It’s too hot
8. It’s too cold
9. It’s too spicy
10. There’s too much
11. There’s not enough
12. There’s green stuff in it
13. There’s brown stuff in it
14. There’s orange stuff in it
15. There’s yellow stuff in it
16. There’s red stuff in it
17. They ate it yesterday
18. They’ve never had it before
19. Their friends don’t like it
20. There’s no ketchup to go with it
21. It’s not covered in chocolate
22. They can’t pronounce it
23. They’re full
24. They have belly aches
25. Their mouths hurt
26. Their throats hurt
27. Their hands are broken
28. They don’t like the utensils
29. The dog won’t eat it
30. The cat won’t eat it
31. They want something else
32. It “accidentally” dropped on the ground
33. They’re saving it for later
34. It’s on their plate and not yours
35. The dessert you’ve promised them if they eat it all is not adequate

If you have kids and you’ve been on the Internet at all in the past few months, you’ve no doubt read Jason Good’s “46 Reasons My Three Year Old Might be Freaking Out.” If you haven’t, what the heck are you waiting for? Go there, now. Then come right back here. Pretty please with a cherry on top.

Hysterical, eh?! And absolutely spot on.

After reading this, I thought it would be funny to do a similar list, only told from a preschooler’s perspective. (Don’t worry, I ran the idea past Jason, and he was cool with it.) Many of these I have experienced first hand; others I’m not fessing up to personally, we’ll just call them educated guesses. I know I can’t do the original justice, but here you go:

46 Reasons My Mom or Dad Might Be Freaking Out

1. I’m continually spazzing out because of something on Mr. Good’s list.
2. I’m eating my boogers. And my sister’s.
3. I ate an entire box of Raisinets while mommy was in the shower.
4. I have explosive diarrhea and it’s getting on everything.
5. I keep touching my explosive diarrhea.
6. I’ve spilled my milk for the sixth time today. And it’s not even lunchtime yet.
7. I’m chewing some gum I found stuck to the chair at the Walgreen’s pharmacy.
8. I’ve started modeling my behavior after Caillou.
9. I took off all of my clothes 30 seconds before we were supposed to leave for day care.
10. I ate the last samoa Girl Scout cookie.
11. I took a permanent marker to the couch.
12. I won’t stop blowing a whistle.
13. I dunked daddy’s phone in a big glass of iced tea.
14. I ran out into the parking lot chasing a leaf.
15. I puked all over the dog.
16. I accidentally called 911 from mommy’s cell phone. Again.
17. I flooded the bathroom while giving my dinosaurs a bath.
18. I spilled nail polish on the beige carpet.
19. I’m drinking milk from a sippy cup we lost 4 days ago.
20. I’m playing in the cat’s litter box.
21. I trapped my brother in the dryer and now he’s stuck in there.
22. I smeared peanut butter and jelly all over the tv screen.
23. I fed my 8-month-old brother some rocks.
24. I locked my mommy out of the house.
25. I’m not sure if that’s chocolate or poop I just smeared on my sister’s shirt.
26. I kept pushing buttons and erased a month’s worth of stuff on the DVR.
27. I ate one of those packets I found in a shoe box.
28. I keep sneaking sips of water from the bird bath.
29. I put my finger in the cat’s butt.
30. I left the freezer door open and no one noticed for a few hours.
31. I ripped the pages out of mommy’s first edition of Where the Wild Things Are. 
32. I keep shouting “penis” as we walk through the grocery store.
33. I like to put coins in the car air vents.
34. I pulled all of the stuffing out of one of the couch cushions.
35. I shoved 3 peas up my nose and one in my ear.
36. I deleted daddy’s Clash of Clans account.
37. I threw my shoe out of the car window.
38. I kicked my dad in the nuts.
39. I snuck a diaper into the washing machine.
40. I keep trying to use a plastic bag as my superhero mask.
41. I stepped on the CD that had all of the pictures from our vacation on it.
42. I pulled off all of the tops from the Keurig k-cups.
43. I thought my mommy’s hemorrhoid cream was an acceptable alternative to toothpaste.
44. I smashed all of my goldfish into my car seat and then dumped my apple juice on top.
45. I keep teasing my sister and making her scream. Because I can.
46. I found some funny looking toys in mommy and daddy’s bedroom.

So, what’s on your list? 🙂