"There are some who can live without wild things and some who cannot." (Aldo Leopold) Apparently, I cannot.

1 Comment

Guest Post: Just One More Day (from Meredith at The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears)

Today I’m happy to share a post with you from my second guest blogger, Meredith from The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears. Having had a goody-goody image her entire life, Meredith finally had enough. She started a blog, The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears, where she comes out of the closet about her love for swear words and wine. When she’s not acting as chauffeur for her kids, you’ll find her avoiding laundry by playing on Facebook and Twitter.

Meredith and I have a lot in common as well, especially the belief in the romantic notion of soul mates. (I know, I know.) She met hers when she was 9 and a new family with a little boy her age moved in across the street . . . and after that boy proclaimed a year later that he was going to marry her one day, it actually happened. And their parents still live across the street from each other to this day! 

Oh, and Meredith is a “master of sarcasm and smartassery.” 1) I love her because she’s not afraid to admit this, and this is another similarity we share. 2) I love her for using the term “smartassery”! 

In this post, however, Meredith waxes more nostalgic than either sarcastic are smartasstic (yeah, I just made up that word)–and I think it’s something we can all relate to. Enjoy!

Just One More Day
by Meredith, The Girl Next Door Drinks and Swears

We’re done having kids. Like done. D-O-N-E.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little heavy-hearted about it. Lately I’ve been reading a lot of blogs by women who are currently pregnant or have newborns. I’m going to have to stop reading their posts so my uterus will settle the hell down.

I’m content in my decision to stop at two, but in all honesty, it makes me truly sad that I won’t experience some of those precious times again. Now wait just a minute. I said some.

One of my first published posts was about all the things that I thought sucked about being pregnant and having a baby. It was fairly extensive, but in no way all-inclusive. Even so (believe it or not) there were some moments that I would give ANYTHING to do over. If only for a day.

I did not have easy pregnancies. Neither was I “the cutest little pregnant person you ever did see.” The only part of it I really enjoyed was feeling the baby move. Once I got past how alien-like it was, I loved it. I could usually tell if it was a hand or a foot or a head I could see pushing against my enormous belly. I rented one of those monitors that allowed you to hear the heartbeat. I could sit and listen to that “badump badump badump” for hours. I wish I could have just one more listen.

I was one of the lucky ones that carried my babies to term and they came out pink and screaming and healthy. I got to hold them right away. Charming and I oohed and aahed over the new little life we miraculously brought into this great big world. And we freaked out just a little that that life was ours to take care of. Each night in the hospital I couldn’t wait for the nurse to bring me my new bundle for a middle-of-the night feeding. I really did look forward to it. I spent the wee hours of both of my children’s lives studying every inch of their tiny bodies. Listening to their coos. Learning their cries. And falling in love over, and over, and over again. I wish I could have just one more night.

I loved watching my babies sleep. I still do. But, they are now too big to rock and cradle in my arms. I took advantage of as many nap times as I could – not to dust or fold laundry – but to sit and hold them while they slumbered. Many times dozing off along with them, their little heads on my shoulder, breathing their hot sweet baby breath on my neck. I wish I could share just one more nap.

The exciting firsts. The first smiles, the first words, the first steps, the first “momma.” I remember them for both of my children. We still have many “firsts” to go, but they seem to get more serious…and a little bit scary as they get older. I wish we could witness just one more sweet first.

Don’t go thinking I’m getting nostalgic enough to do this baby thing a third time. Practically nothing would make less sense for our family. It’s just sometimes hard to accept that this time in our lives has come and gone. But as will every stage of parenting, it has. And one day we’ll look back at the days we are in now (at least I hope so) with happy memories and wish we could have just one more day.

Thanks so much for sharing, Meredith! If you’d like to read more from the girl next door, be sure to check her out on her blogFacebook, and Twitter. She’s from Texas, ya’ll, so if you do stop by, make sure to take her a Dr. Pepper–I hear all Texans love Dr. Pepper. And of course make sure it’s ginormous because we all know that everything is bigger in Texas!


Guest Post: How My Husband Keeps Me Up at Night (from Michelle at You’re my favorite today)

Since I’m out of town all of this week, I’ve lined up three great guest bloggers for your reading pleasure. Each of these bloggers is on my short list of blogs that I make a priority to check out if I have limited browsing time. They all share a good mix of funny and honesty, and most importantly, they are all sincere and not afraid to be themselves. And I can honestly say that they are a great inspiration for me as I continue on my own writing journey.

First up is Michelle from You’re my favorite today. Michelle and I have a lot in common: Neither one of us has ever had a speeding ticket, we both have a B.A. and a master’s degree, we’re both carb-a-holics, we both love Ellen, we both taught ourselves how to crochet, and, perhaps most importantly, we both love diet Pepsi. All of our similarities, and the fact that Michelle is super hilarious, allows me to overlook the fact that she does not like cilantro (what?) or tequila (double what??). Also, I’m hoping that one day she will invite me to come play at her cabin in Minnesota.

Now, without further adieu . . . 

How My Husband Keeps Me Up at Night
by: Michelle, You’re my favorite today

Husband is a little concerned he’s becoming my blog’s “foil.”
I can’t imagine why he feels that way. I mean, think I’ve made it pretty clear that I adore that man and his ‘Bachelor’ lovin’ ways (exhibit A).
And it’s a damn good thing I do. Here’s why…

If there’s one thing I love better than Target, John Hughes’ movies and John Stamos, it’s sleep.
My answer to the question, “Are you a morning person or a night person?” is (without pause) – “Neither”.
I can, and very often do, nap every day.
On weekends I will sleep until 9 or 10:00 easily if I don’t have to be somewhere.
As soon as the girls were old enough to chew we trained them to come sit between us on our bed – silently – when they woke up at 6 a.m. on weekends and let them go crazy with a box of Fruit Loops and cartoons so we could sleep until at least 8 or 9 (whatever. They obviously turned out fine. There’s fruit in those loops. duh).

Lately, like the past 6 months lately, my precious sleep has been interrupted by Husband’s new fun trick – snoring.

I’ll be honest. It sucks.

But before I go any further, I must post this disclaimer (disguised as a loving letter to my Husband):

Dear Husband,
First of all, I love you. Now then….
I realize you cannot help your incessant snoring.
I know you feel badly about it and am grateful and appreciative that when I punch you awake you immediately apologize, grab your pillow and head for the couch, leaving me the comfy bed (most nights).
Thank you for trying the Breathe Right strips, the $50 mouth guard (that didn’t work and probably not because you took it out in the middle of the night) and even for contemplating surgery to remove the flappy skin at the back of your throat.
I apologize if the words you are about to read regarding your unfortunate condition are in any way hurtful.
your wife who loves you despite this condition but who would be happier if she was more well-rested.

Okay, so back to me.

Me who loves to sleep.

I can remember when my girls were babies and toddlers and I’d be all sound asleep, pillow perfectly pluffed (it’s a real word), cat curled up on my chest, and they’d start crying out in their sleep, slowly at first but gradually escalating to a screech that would make the cat leap in the air and make my stomach lurch and would almost always cause me to cuss like a sailor as I was jolted out of my sacred sleep.

The snoring is a lot like that.
Seriously, I feel like lately I’ve had the god-awful baby-to-toddler sleep patterns that I’ve spent like 7 years trying to block out.

What’s funny is that like one night a week the snoring is mild (meaning it wakes me up <4 times) and so we get all optimistic and think HE’S CURED! IT WAS ALL A FLUKE! HAPPY DAYS (and nights) ARE HERE AGAIN!!

So we go to sleep all happy (“night!” “night!” kiss kiss blah blah blah) and within 5 minutes, Husband’s breathing takes a turn for the worse.
Becomes heavy.
Usually contains a sound like the syllable “k” on the exhale.
That’s when I know.
That’s when I start to feel a panic deep in my tummy.
That’s when I start to whimper and cry (only on the inside…only on the inside).
And sure as shootin’, the “k” sound decides to stick around for the inhale.
And then it’s all over.

At this point, one of two things usually happens:
1) I begin lightly jostling Husband on his upper arm until the snoring is interrupted. I thankfully try to quickly – very very quickly – fall asleep before it starts again.
2) I don’t…It does…and the “light jostling” turns ugly, Husband groggily says, “was I snoring??”, I grump say “YES!!”, he grabs pillow and heads for the couch.

Some nights one of us will just concede defeat and start the night on the couch, avoiding the whole scenario.

So Husband is currently battling a cold/sinus infection.
And last night, while I was trying to go to sleep (as I felt was evident by the fact that my light was out, my eyes were closed, my cat was settled on my chest), I hear something that sounds like either

a) a cat giving himself a very thorough bath
b) small raindrops hitting the window

nope…neither…it was

c) Husband sucking on a lozenge, flipping it around and around in his mouth while he was playing on his iPad.

and then….then….

the incessant coughing/clearing the throat started.

Swear to god it felt like I was trapped in a hotel room again with my family.

Except now I could grab my cat and my pillow and escape. Which I did. Quickly. Before the snoring-that-reaches-new-decibles-when-he-has-a-cold joined the coughing.

No, really.
Please help.


Thanks so much for stopping by, Michelle! To stalk, errrr I mean follow Michelle, you can find her being all awesome on her blogFacebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. (Man, she really gets around, eh?) If you do stop by, please tell her I say hi, and take her a nice big diet Pepsi and a big, fat french baguette with garlic butter. (I’m serious about that trip to Minnesota, dontcha know!) 🙂