We have two cats. And I used to hate cleaning their litter boxes. And then we had kids. Now I see just how good I have it with the litter boxes.

In no particular order:

1. They don’t need their butts wiped.
2. They don’t pee all over the toilet seat and leave it for you to sit in.
3. They don’t run into the bathroom while you’re in there doing your business because they have to go so bad and can’t make it to one of the other unoccupied bathrooms that they actually passed on the way to the one you are currently using.
4. They don’t consistently clog your toilet with toilet paper. Or Legos.
5. They don’t wipe their paws on their butt and show it to you.
6. They don’t ever ask you to come see what has just come out of their butts.
7. They don’t pee or poop in the bathtub.
8. They don’t use going to the bathroom as an excuse to keep getting out of bed.
9. They don’t want to have a 30-minute conversation about their poop’s texture or color or smell while they’re pooping.
10. They don’t need to be reminded to go to the bathroom all the time.
11. They don’t need sticker charts or M&Ms to be enticed to do their business on the potty.
12. They are not obsessed with using public restrooms.
13. They don’t ever forget to poop the first time and then ask you to take them back to the bathroom 30 seconds later.
14. They don’t wake you up in the middle of the night because they’ve fallen into the toilet.
15. They don’t require you to buy 800 rolls of toilet paper every week.
16. They don’t leave skid marks.
17. They don’t have to be told all the time not to take food into the bathroom.
18. They don’t accidentally drop things in the toilet while going to the bathroom.
19. They don’t need the world around them to pause while they go to the bathroom.
20. They don’t feel compelled to tell complete strangers about their poop.

Disclaimer: After getting some pretty funny and accurate rebuttals to this one, I figured I should mention that the kids in question here are preschoolers and toddlers, and the cats in question are not psychos. (Although I understand there is an argument to be made that all cats are psycho, lol.) Maybe the title of this post really should have been “20 Reasons MY Cats Have Superior Potty Skills Compared to MY Kids”?