If you have kids and you’ve been on the Internet at all in the past few months, you’ve no doubt read Jason Good’s “46 Reasons My Three Year Old Might be Freaking Out.” If you haven’t, what the heck are you waiting for? Go there, now. Then come right back here. Pretty please with a cherry on top.
Hysterical, eh?! And absolutely spot on.
After reading this, I thought it would be funny to do a similar list, only told from a preschooler’s perspective. (Don’t worry, I ran the idea past Jason, and he was cool with it.) Many of these I have experienced first hand; others I’m not fessing up to personally, we’ll just call them educated guesses. I know I can’t do the original justice, but here you go:
46 Reasons My Mom or Dad Might Be Freaking Out
- I’m continually spazzing out because of something on Mr. Good’s list.
- I’m eating my boogers. And my sister’s.
- I ate an entire box of Raisinets while mommy was in the shower.
- I have explosive diarrhea and it’s getting on everything.
- I keep touching my explosive diarrhea.
- I’ve spilled my milk for the sixth time today. And it’s not even lunchtime yet.
- I’m chewing some gum I found stuck to the chair at the Walgreen’s pharmacy.
- I’ve started modeling my behavior after Caillou.
- I took off all of my clothes 30 seconds before we were supposed to leave for day care.
- I ate the last samoa Girl Scout cookie.
- I took a permanent marker to the couch.
- I won’t stop blowing a whistle.
- I dunked daddy’s phone in a big glass of iced tea.
- I ran out into the parking lot chasing a leaf.
- I puked all over the dog.
- I accidentally called 911 from mommy’s cell phone. Again.
- I flooded the bathroom while giving my dinosaurs a bath.
- I spilled nail polish on the beige carpet.
- I’m drinking milk from a sippy cup we lost 4 days ago.
- I’m playing in the cat’s litter box.
- I trapped my brother in the dryer and now he’s stuck in there.
- I smeared peanut butter and jelly all over the tv screen.
- I fed my 8-month-old brother some rocks.
- I locked my mommy out of the house.
- I’m not sure if that’s chocolate or poop I just smeared on my sister’s shirt.
- I kept pushing buttons and erased a month’s worth of stuff on the DVR.
- I ate one of those packets I found in a shoe box.
- I keep sneaking sips of water from the bird bath.
- I put my finger in the cat’s butt.
- I left the freezer door open and no one noticed for a few hours.
- I ripped the pages out of mommy’s first edition of Where the Wild Things Are.
- I keep shouting “penis” as we walk through the grocery store.
- I like to put coins in the car air vents.
- I pulled all of the stuffing out of one of the couch cushions.
- I shoved 3 peas up my nose and one in my ear.
- I deleted daddy’s Clash of Clans account.
- I threw my shoe out of the car window.
- I kicked my dad in the nuts.
- I snuck a diaper into the washing machine.
- I keep trying to use a plastic bag as my superhero mask.
- I stepped on the CD that had all of the pictures from our vacation on it.
- I pulled off all of the tops from the Keurig k-cups.
- I thought my mommy’s hemorrhoid cream was an acceptable alternative to toothpaste.
- I smashed all of my goldfish into my car seat and then dumped my apple juice on top.
- I keep teasing my sister and making her scream. Because I can.
- I found some funny looking toys in mommy and daddy’s bedroom.
So, what’s on your list? 🙂
March 15, 2013 at 8:25 am
I’ve read Jason’s post last week and loved it. OMG. there are a few things on your list I can relate to. Fortunately, not all of them. I have been locked out of the house a couple times! Great job on your list.
March 15, 2013 at 11:13 am
My oldest locked me out a few times before I got smart and started taking a key with me or unlocking the door before I popped outside to put the trash out . . . one time she did it, I was hugely pregnant with #2 and when I flagged someone down driving down our street to ask if I could borrow her cell phone, she freaked and thought I was going into labor. 🙂
March 15, 2013 at 8:36 am
We have blue Sharpie artwork on our hallway BEIGE carpeting 🙂 and OH the lost sippy cups! Especially in my minivan, UGH! One good thing about winter: at least the neglected sippy cups stay relatively COLD in the car 😉 Good stuff!
March 15, 2013 at 11:14 am
Yes, it’s definitely better when you lose a sippy cup full of milk when it’s cold out. Unless you lose it in your house and it happens to make its way on top of the heating vent. Lol. 🙂
March 15, 2013 at 9:36 am
Ha! I’m dying to know which ones are your “educated guesses”.
March 15, 2013 at 11:15 am
I will never tell. 🙂 But I’m sure you can figure it out.
March 16, 2013 at 11:05 pm
I’m already picturing the list for when your child is 17. I forgot to turn in a scholarship application by the deadline. I clogged the toilet, put the lid down and left the house so someone else would have to find it an deal with it. I put a liiiiitle scrape on the back bumper of your car, but I’ve been looking on the internet for ways to fix it….
March 17, 2013 at 11:29 am
Ha, yes!! If I’m still blogging when my kids are 17, I’ll have to revise this. 🙂
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March 17, 2013 at 9:47 pm
Hahahaha … this is awesome! I love that dad got kicked in the nuts too! Poor man 🙂
Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. 🙂
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
March 17, 2013 at 10:19 pm
Thanks. And thank you for the link up opportunity. 🙂 I’ll definitely check in on Friday.
March 22, 2013 at 10:51 am
Congratulations MacKenzie for being featured today at Feature Friday’s! Don’t forget to add the Featured button to your blog! Congrats!
(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
March 17, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Hehehe. Oh this funny. My mom was just telling me the other day how I locked her and myself in the basement while my brother who had just started crawling upstairs. Oops. She said she used an axe to break the basement door.
Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.
March 17, 2013 at 11:04 pm
Ooooh, that must have freaked her out. When my daughter did it, I was worried she was going to fall down the basement stairs (she wasn’t quite 2), but she simply gathered up all of the shoes in the house and then sat down on the couch to watch tv. Little stinker.
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March 22, 2013 at 4:25 pm
That list is hilarious (and some of it is gross, lolol). Saw you at Raising Reagan’s Feature Friday. 🙂
March 22, 2013 at 8:30 pm
Thank you! Yes, I often find kids to be both hilarious and gross (in fact I’ve written a post about this, too, lol). 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
March 23, 2013 at 1:52 pm
46 made me laugh and throw up in my mouth a little bith
March 23, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Bah, you know what I meant
March 25, 2013 at 9:54 am
April 24, 2013 at 11:14 am
Kids are so gross! (I came from A Mother Life’s HumpDay HookUp.)
April 24, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Truth! (Nice to meet ya.)
May 23, 2013 at 7:05 pm
My first question is, did all these things really happen? If so, bless you my child. haha Very funny list. And a good number of these things have also happened to me. Unfortunately.
May 24, 2013 at 3:01 pm
Not all of them . . . like I say, some are educated guesses, but many of them did, or I borrowed some from friends. 🙂 But I’ll still take the blessing, lol.
May 27, 2013 at 7:37 pm
Oh, the one about pulling the lids off all the Keurig cups cracked me up. This was a great list! And yeah…#46. Oh. My. Gosh!! Thanks for the laughs!
My most recent post: http://sloppycopymommy.blogspot.com/2013/05/mommy-insomnia-syndrome.html
May 27, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Ha, ha. Thanks for reading. I’m going to head over to your blog now. 🙂
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